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endless chaos in the movie life [entries|friends|calendar]
Nancie, Hanna

[ website | Last words under the sunset ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(1 are wanted* left behind )

my lover [25 Mar 2005|02:14am]
[ mood | drunk ]

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:216
Quiz created with MemeGen!

( left behind )

[25 Mar 2005|01:59am]
[ mood | drunk ]

well, i don't know what i am going to say. but i think i'll just update my journal. i've been drinking. woot. once in a whole i guess its okay. but that's when you get into some deep thoughts ya know. like when you start thinking about random shit that just pops into your mind like...cheddar cheese! see what i mean? i bet you weren't expecting that to fall onto the screen. but yeah. there's kyle. someone who is in my life now, and i don't know if it was by accident or by fate. i don't know. i was reading his journal, and all he talks about in the past is this girl named kerri. i will NEVER compare to what she was. i don't know. i know my life is going in a strange direction, and it isn't good. but he's awesome. and i know he's going to leave me. and i think its my fault. hell, i know it is. he wants someone with a steady life, and a motivated way of living. and i don't blame him. but i guess i am wrong for not looking at it that way. i am looking at it using my point of view. i am happy. and i like him a lot. he's funny, and odd like me...and DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUWAHAHAHAH

i love you kyle.....



i am drunk.

( left behind )

[24 Mar 2005|08:16pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

i need a life. one step at a time. just don't give up on me. i would never give up on you. if i mean anything to you, you'd understand the situation i am in. and you would be there for me. i am not asking for your help, sympathy, or guilt. don't give up on me. all i am asking for is you, kyle.

(3 are wanted* left behind )

[22 Mar 2005|06:33pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
i raise my hands up towards the sky,
i'll say this prayer for you tonight.
because nothing is impossible.


(1 are wanted* left behind )

random-ness... [14 Mar 2005|04:21pm]
dolls that stab: lets go to taco hell
dolls that stab: IM STARVING
dolls that stab: haha
dolls that stab: i want some grade D meat
l3et1004: That was so random
dolls that stab: <3

( left behind )

poop shoots? [14 Mar 2005|04:04pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

well now. ugh. wow, even though my shit sucks. i am still truckin'! and i am stilllll happy. whoooooo. well now. i am officially bored. SOMEONE CALL ME AND LET'S HANG OUT DAMNIT . thank you...


(2 are wanted* left behind )

[12 Mar 2005|02:27pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

yeah, this computer is "straight edge" ANYWAY. i WAS typing in here until the computer decided to do some kind of voodoo, and reset everything. like i was saying...cat and i were hanging out last night, and i recieved a call on my cell phone from a private number. i picked it up, and i knew it was ryan and the disgusting pig he calls his girlfriend. i also heard one of the "assistant managers" from cockbuster in the backround calling me names. they kept calling and bothering me. saying all of this degrading stuff. i remember when i was YOUNGER and did that to people. i guess it just goes to show how a 25 year old woman can associate with these children, and somehow find her way into the unintelligence of an 18 year old fat girl. anyway. i called her phone back, and left her a nice message. i do not like people fucking with me. if you're going to please have some more wit than that. especially when you're the assistant manager, have a child, and are married. that's not showing a good example to the children you hang out with.

anyway, that disgusts me, and i suddenly feel the need to vomit. people who gossip have nothing in their lives to feel good about other than their drug addictions. fuck that.
for ONCE, i would like to find a place where everyone is equal, and are mature. hmm...but yeah. i haven't "blogged" in a while. so i just thought this was a good opportunity to do so. i really want to do something. but everyone is busy i guess. i think i am going to have to pick up two jobs or something. i wish steph was here. shiit.

piece out.

(3 are wanted* left behind )

ugh... [08 Mar 2005|09:24pm]
[ mood | calm ]

attention ALL nancie went out and got herself a cellphone. to whom i want to have my number....its 286-4653...i'm here at kyle's...we're bored, with nothing to do. yeah so. pretty soon i will have the apartment to myself. which is cool. ive been really stressed out lately because its almost march 22nd. steph's anniversary...i don't know what to do. ill probably go out there and go all crzy with decorations again. marking it one year. then i'll probably go to her grave, and get drunk. i know she'd do that if this were to happen to jen or i. god i miss her.

piece out...

( left behind )

ugh [04 Mar 2005|10:59am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

even when i try to be mean, and bitchy, i always wind up feeling bad. tyler was packing his things, and something hit me. i don't know what it was, but it made me want to cry. i wanted to help him, or talk to him...something. i started thinking about when we first moved into this place. he and i were really close,and i hate it when things happen this way. i feel terrible. and i really don't want him to hate me. even though i may have come off cold, and hateful, i didn't mean to hurt you in any way. i hope all of us can talk this out. because as odd as this sounds at this time, i think i am going to miss you. but i don't think you're ready to be out on your own. i honestly don't know if any of us are. just know that i'll be here for you.

i'm sorry.

( left behind )

[02 Mar 2005|07:54am]
Hair:Short and brightly coloured.
Clothes:As revealing as you can legally get away with.
Powers:Wind magic
Special Features:Fangs
Sidekick:None, you have no need for a sidekick.
Attitude:Very quiet and reserverd, extremely shy.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

(6 are wanted* left behind )

... [02 Mar 2005|07:30am]
[ mood | enraged ]

so its official. i think this journal has been nothing but a drama fest. i hate drama. yeah, anyway. i don't care. aren't you supposed to vent in these things? i thought so.

its strange how life hands you shit, or hands you happiness. lately its been shit. and yet, i always seem to be holding my head up in any situation. i just hate being betrayed. its great. great enough to where i may have to isolate myself away from everyone. is it me? i don't know if i cause people to fuck me over. but, i think i am going to become a bitch from hell. its been a long time coming and it needs to be now.

i know i am probably going to get screwed on the rent, and bills. but that will only make me stronger. beau is going to move in and take over the lease with me. i will feel so much better because i know he is reliable, and motivated. i just wish kyle would understand. he's the only think i have to look forward to. unlike some people, who haven't had a job in over 3 months, and constantly turn shit around on you making you look like the bad one. this morning at 6 am, i was playing my music, and tyler bangs really loud on the wall, and tells me to turn it down. and i told him to go get a job, and calls me a bitch, and mumbles some other shit. no one calls me a bitch. so i told him to get out now or that if he had a problem with it, he would be removed. and i really don't give a fuck who reads this and objects to it, because i am on the verge of exploding. this is fucking bullshit, and i don't want any part of it. i'm not his fucking mother. and i've noticed that cat doesn't have a job either, but she's trying and STILL, (yes) STILL supporting his ass. fuck that. i am tired of people walking on me. i swear to god if ONE more thing happens...that's fucking it. i am disconnecting the internet from his computer. if he wants me to play his mother, why should someone have priveleges if they don't work for them? fuck that shit. fuck everything. and fuck you.

lata guys.

( left behind )

hehe x.O [27 Feb 2005|01:23am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Your Superhero Persona
by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero NameThe Nerd
Super PowerSevere Mood Swings
EnemyClear Channel
Mode Of TransportationSkateboard
WeaponBeer Bottle

(3 are wanted* left behind )

spunky [25 Feb 2005|03:46am]
[ mood | bored ]

well shit. time to make another entry about nothing! i just got home from work. yeah, what time is it? l;ike 3:00 a.m.? yeah. we had to run the fuggin store manually because the computers were down until damn 11:00. then we had to type 9 hours worth of movies on people's accounts, and check them in and out by typing everything in. then after we did that it was about 1:00 a.m., and we had to run about 500 movies. we didn't get out of there until like 2:45. and i was there at 400 p.m.. a good 10 1/2 hours. ::does dance:: but i had a good time. it seems to go a little faster because we're busy. after we closed beau showed up, and passed out on the blockbuster floor. he has to work a double tomorrow. well, i should say today. but he was tired. im fuggin tired!it was exhausting just standing there for 10 hours. you folks who have nice sit down jobs....heh, i remember those days. i think i'd rather be doing something rather than sitting though. i don't want to become more unmotivated. shit, i am hungry. ugh. there's no food in thy apartment either. such a drag guys...:( well maybe we should start a "feed the poor italian" fund. each time one of you's say a bad word, you should insert one quarter in a jar. hmm.....yeah, maybe i'm thinking too much. tyler and cat are gone. so im just sitting here, alone......bleh....oh snap. margaret cho is coming to hard rock. and I AM GOING TO SEE HER ok?!?! hmm...if you wanna go, call me, and we'll ride out, niggaz. anyway. i really feel the need to clean. at 3 in the morning. by the way to those who smoke marijuana in my apartment. *DO NOT BRING IT IN THIS APARTMENT* yeah, i can smell it. i know what it is, and its gross.


(1 are wanted* left behind )

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...hah. [24 Feb 2005|03:29pm]
[ mood | restless ]

yeah...i'm just sitting around the apartment, waiting to go to work. oh man. i love it when i am right. omg. this is great! well you know. i don't like people who are liars. especially to the ones they "love" but i am going to leave it at that. wooo. i had a good time with kyle, hanging out, and playing with light sabers at sports authority. just being with him is a lot of fun. <3

(3 are wanted* left behind )

oh boy [19 Feb 2005|11:25am]
[ mood | bored ]

i'm walking out of walmart after i got out of work at midnight last nigtht. and i realized that i'm always complaining because my nose is clogged. ALWAYS CLOGGED. but that's when i realize that sometimes its definitely a good thing. becuse some scrubby worker from walmart smoking a cigarette walks right past me, and i couldn't smell it. ::score:: so i guess there are pros & cons to things eh?

i am finally permanent at the 40 store. its sooooooooooo busy. like, more than i have EVER seen at a cockbuster. but i feel like i am doing better there for some reason. i am working 40 hours a week. and the district manager dwayne really likes me. he came in and gave me a hug. he's like "i thought we lost you! we can't have our top people leaving on us." i thought that was nice. and on top of that the store manager told my old manager that i am great. the staff there is cool too. they don't gossip, and they're on target. and that's what i need. i have to go to a store in lady lake today. that's like an hour away.

well i'm out!

(3 are wanted* left behind )

[16 Feb 2005|11:43pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

dayum! kyle just left. and i am once again alone. he's so fucking amazing. he ALWAYS takes me out and buys me dinner, and he got me a watch for valentine's day. damn..so incredible.....i love being with him all of the time. and i really do want to move in with him. but i have annie, and veruca. he didn't really care about the cat, but annie gets jealous a lot. and she's always right there. i love annie too. she's my child!

ahhh..i'm out.

(4 are wanted* left behind )

[15 Feb 2005|12:50pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

so yeah. yesterday cat gets the wonderful idea to microwave her undies. they were wet. well considering they almost caught on fire. this apartment is funny. when good people are in it. now i am faced with a challenge. as all of you know, i left blockbuster..(if you didn't know i am sorry, now you do)too much gossip goin on. and people saying a bunch of things that aren't true. my manager calls me up, and he tells me that he didn't let me go yet. that he wants me to work at a higher volume store, and he says that i have serious skills. but he picked ryan for a shift lead. hmm....there's room for advancement at the other store too. but until i get bumped up, i will be a csr. i've been there for 8 months, and i am still just a csr. if i am doing SO fucking well, then why don't you do something about it? ::thinks:: but i have to say that steve is/was the best manager i've EVER had. he's hilarious, works with his employees, and trys to make everything better. and it was really awesome of him to try and make sure i had another opportunity. i am considering going back to cockbuster. BUT whenever i left there, i started another job making 8.00 + whatever i sell. its a telemarketing job, and i have worked there before. but then again there's cockbuster, i know what i am doing there. i know all there is to know. (pretty much). and its like, second nature to me now. and if i pass this by, i don't want to regret it. but that goes along with the issue of money. i need money, badly. like i was saying, kyle wants me to move to orlando with him. and i think its a good idea. but i want to have enough money to support myself. i don't like relying on others to pay my way. fuck that. but anyway, i have to take a shower, and get ready to help my grandmother finish getting rid of some things. kathy pisses me off. ugh

piece out!!!!!!!

(2 are wanted* left behind )

hmph [14 Feb 2005|07:19pm]
[ mood | loved ]

you knwo what i just realized!? i watch way too damn much food network. but tis sooo interesting. hmm.....i am starving. its like a diet. i watch the food network, and i feel full. yay!

::does dance::
i guess if there was a song to decribe how i feel about kyle, it would be echo by incubus....<3

(1 are wanted* left behind )

hehe [14 Feb 2005|01:05am]
[ mood | mellow ]

i'm just sitting here listening to bjork with my friends. i am glad i got to hang out with angie, beau, tyler, cat, jason, nicole, and her brother. we cooked out, and had a badass time. we all walked to the lake, and just sat and talked. its cool having two friends that are girls that you regularly hang out with. we went to angie's house (angie, cat, and i) and it was so funny just talking about stuff. they're hilarious. and i am glad that we're all hanging out. i usually don't drink, but i had two beers. ehh, i feel ok. we made burgers, chicken, hotdogs, and a steak for dinner. and i miss kyle. <3 last time we hung out we went to this chinese buffet. that shit was funny. there were some funky people in there. then we went to the dollar store, and there was this lady in the aisle, and fucking kyle takes my hands, and starts making then fly in the air like i was some kind of crazy person. that shit was great. that lady was



just like heaven [11 Feb 2005|05:25pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

special. one word to describe how i feel. i went for another job today, and nailed it. which makes me happy. i am caught in a transitional period in my life. no not menopause, i'm too young for that. its like life wants me to do one thing, and i want to do another. its funny how things never go as planned in my life. ever. everything that i usually plan that's long term, just kinda finds a way to become...."unplanned". and i never really know why. so i just usually shrug it off, and it happens again. i have been thinking because the apartment thing isn't really working out. although this is what i have earned. i really don't feel like i am home. its strange. kyle keeps telling me to get a job there. i want to. but there are some things that i want to get done with here first. i want to go to college, and become something. instead of being like everyone else and not doing anything. i have been lazy enough in my life, and i think that's why i keep being handed shit. in every case. untimately, i want to do things for myself. because i will feel better about them, and its just i need to do this for myself! i have to help my grandma move some things. my stepmother is strange. she yelled at my grandma, and for those who know my grandmother, know that's she's so kick ass. and yeah, i don't like people fucking with her. so i am on the verge of saying something to her. i don't know how someone with a condition like that could be a 4th grade teacher. there's no way. ugh. anyway, hopefully things are starting to look up, instead of down. kyle wants to move to canada. i told him that i am totally down with that. hah! canada? its better than here. i just want to get away. period.
well this is it.

see ya later.

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